Coffin Fit

Well any sense of pride or lack of shame has dissipated into the atmosphere
quicker than the taxpayers billions. I've not been well. I've attracted a rather
ugly virus which appears to have found haven in my body whilst it was unguarded.
                 ....My own fault. Little sleep, irregular working patterns and a worse diet than ghandi during his captive days has lead me to run my immune system down to the possibility of discovering Australia. The ugly bit isn't the relentless sneezing or the hideous wet nose, it is the cough. Its the Dr Jekyll of coughs. Turning a polite, confident and conscientious individual into an unapproachable, retiring and unconscious individual who is making more enemies than Bush.

The biggest problem i've faced was this morning. The tube. A packed out, delayed, impatient carriage of self-important Londoners and cautious tourists. I was sat in the middle, a spanish book in one hand and my bag rested on my lap quietly revising some recently ingested spanish when all of a sudden i felt that horrible feeling where your lungs are about to spasm out of control. A hideous public display of protest at my body's dislike for the cold, pollution and
coffin cramped carriage that i had subjected it to.

At first a controlled 'i've got a mild cough but don't worry you won't catch it' diminshed to a sudden tyrade of 'black death is here and you've got 20seconds left so say your prayers' kind of coughing fit. I may as well have had lepracy and a rat on my shoulder based on the looks i got from the surrounding individuals... Maybe i did.

I'd like to thank the lovely lady who offered me a Halls Soother to try and calm
it down. I'm not entirely sure what that would have done because throat sweets
don't work but what did work was that her act of kindness let me explain that my cough has been fine and that the tube has brought it out, just some reassurance for the fellow commuters that I wasn't subjecting them to this out of choice.

Now as i take to the streets to make my way to work my lungs feel happy and
content again. Back to nitrogen, oxygen and carbon monoxide. Breathe in and
release. Ah... [sigh of relief]